Starfield:Cmdr. Ikande's Personal Computer

Cmdr. Ikande's Personal Computer
Editor ID	LC082_IkandeQuartersTerminal
Location	UC Vigilance (map)

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Cmdr. Ikande's Personal Computer
Health of the Crew	Lieutenant Toft asked me if I've had a chance to take a break since this operation began. While I personally feel fine, it's a good reminder that everyone on this crew handles pressure differently. For some, it must be applied. For others, it must be relieved.
Personal Documents	(Go to Personal Documents menu.)
Personal Documents
State of the Vigilance	After speaking with Commander Natara, Lieutenant Toft has assured me that Project Svalinn has been fully tested by the engineers at SY-920, and approved by MAST. If everything goes according to plan, we will begin implementation immediately. When the time comes, this upgrade will be essential for what we have planned.
The Crimson Fleet Threat	It's no secret that we've had trouble explaining to the officials at MAST the urgency of the Crimson Fleet menace. Despite the fact that they are a disorganized band of pirates, they must be treated as a criminal organization that poses a threat to the safety of the Settled Systems. Unfortunately, without intel on the inner workings of the Crimson Fleet, much of this is speculation. We need someone on the inside to help us fill in the blanks. This is why I've requested the records of every prisoner detained by the United Colonies. Surely there is a candidate among them who will suit our needs.
Resolve and Purpose	There are years where nothing happens, and years that can define a life. I was sixteen when I first took to the skies. Seventeen when it all came crashing down. It began with a ship. Earlier that year, my father had salvaged a wreck from the war, a B class Deimos fighter from an abandoned staryard. It was old, outdated, and to put it bluntly, a piece of junk. The controls were shaky, the plating was rusted, and the engine coughed like it had a bad lung. But none of that mattered to me. I was hooked from the very first grav jump. You see, up until that point, I had often struggled to focus. Nothing I did had any long term appeal. That all changed the moment I took that Deimos junker out to the spacelanes. For the first time in my life, I could see a life for me beyond the present. This ship, for all its loose wires, dents, and pockmarks, gave me purpose. Something I could devote my life to. Three months later I was an escort for my father's freighter. Ten months later, we were attacked by the Crimson Fleet. Most days, I think about my father -- the kind, gentle man who raised me. I think about how much poorer this galaxy is without his laughter soaring through its membrane. And other times, my thoughts turn to his son, the boy with the star-bright eyes, and the future he lost. When I am confronted by this boy. my resolve begins to wane. I want him to forgive me for the man I've become, one consumed by hate and vengeance. I stand wordless as he tugs at the corners of my jacket, tears flowing down his cheeks, begging me to let my anger go. And in that moment, every part of me wants to embrace him, and tell him exactly what he needs to hear. I want to tell him I will drop this accursed chase, and give his future the chance it deserves. But instead, I turn away. I leave him crying, alone in the void of space. But what he does not realize, is that I am doing this for him. I fight the Crimson Fleet for all the fathers and futures lost to a world that never should have been. And when I think of them, my resolve returns, and I have purpose once more.
What is it all for?	What is it all for? On the eve of battle, I find myself asking this question now more than ever. So to remind myself, I've taken to wandering the halls, listening to soldiers talk idly about their families. I've found it's rejuvenating to hear these small stories about spouses, children, and babies on the way. Then, to contrast, I like to imagine what the Fleet are talking about, there on the Key. In war, sometimes we are asked to suspend our humanity in order to serve it. But our fight requires no such compromise. The Crimson Fleet stand in defiance to what is right and humane. If you don't believe me, just listen to what they say.
What it was all for	I had our courier grav jump to MAST to relay the success of the mission. There was some thought that I would deliver the news myself, but my gut feeling says that would be gauche. No one likes an "I told you so," least of all those in charge. Besides, there is only one soul I would like to tell in person, and when my time comes, I will deliver the news with tears in my eyes. For this is a joyous day, and yet, not what I expected. All in all, I knew I would be happy. But strangely, I don't feel relief? My original plan was to retire when this mission was over, but this battle has invigorated me. I'm afraid that boy with the star-bright eyes will have to wait a little longer.